You used to hesitate to trust the world, feared the true faces of people. Each new face is just a fear that it just another added on a breakpoint of a later time.
Time showed you a lot of those who left a permanent mark of pain, betrayal, desertion and most importantly the deepest wound each time they put you in situations where you broke down to pieces.
But suddenly a hope started to mount up. Your heart gave a cry that you should trust now. You start to put all your trust, and you’re all on it.
Days pass on, your insecurities die. You became proud of that one decision and believed it changed your life and the way you see life.
Hardstone face of yours turned bearing a softened smile. Days of where you used to see people with a slackness stitched on flew away and now all seemed so right in place.
But, suddenly it all changed. Your own eyes betrayed you. You hate to accept that all wasn’t true what you saw. It all suddenly darkened around you and you stood there solemnly as if the night will dawn now or then and you realise that the sun also betrayed you. You broke inside, cursed yourself why you believed.
The anger, loss and solitude burned you from inside. Time passed on intensifying every feeling of yours, your feelings tried to escape the long seasoned walls of your body, but you don’t let that all spill off and you compressed them all in you. Day, after day, year after year. You bartered the pain with wearing numbness over you.
Numbness which flows in after a battle.
Eyes see it all, hardly things are reliable.
Ears listen, and nothing fits to hear.
Silence such as after a war, even while people howl, groan and die doesn’t change a thing on you.
You stand there not writhing for what you feel.
You don’t stumble because all of them you go through.
You kept that numbness but it mounted to the threshold. You struggled to keep it inside.
But, then all of a sudden, it all then burst in every direction making its own new supernova, after all, you have to make your own dawn and stop relying on others.